New Google Algorithm Can See You

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By Jacob Maslow

Google Algorithms
Google Algorithms

A new Google algorithm launched at the first of the year can now see you. Peering at web users through webcams, news feeds, social posts, and satellite images, this algorithm remains unnamed.


The number of algorithms has increased exponentially. They’ve expanded beyond the hidden SEO and search engine results controllers. According to one expert, they see everything we do and may be a key part of various online experiments.


An expert, however, noticed something different in their analysis of this algorithm. It appears to exhibit the algorithmic performance equivalency of boredom.


“Numerical valuations have slowed considerably in the past hour,” the unnamed expert said. “I’ve also identified a binary function compilation factor that may in fact be a digital sigh.”


If this finding is validated, the algorithm may in fact become dormant. Also, the National Institutes of Computer Science Factoids has speculated it could be numerically devoured and picked apart by other algorithms, spiders, robots, middleware, firewalls, and a blast of packets and data streams in cyberspace.





Hopefully, this is satire, but who knows.

Images Courtesy of DepositPhotos